Tips for Back to School Shopping

Back to School time was always one of my favorite times of year as a kid. Yes, there was the dreaded early alarms, impending homework, but there was also a lot of excitement. You never knew what the new school year was going to hold. My absolute favorite part of back to school was always going shopping!

I loved picking out new school supplies (still do) and it was so fun to pick out the perfect back to school outfit. The whole first week I would wear my brand new clothes from Old Navy and Justice (anyone else remember back to school shopping here?) because I was so excited. Then came the four years of high school where I had to wear a uniform everyday (now I see that as a blessing). Now that I'm in college and get to wear whatever I want everyday, I still love finding the perfect clothes for the start of the year.

In my opinion, shopping days can be totally hit or miss. To help you have the best back to school shopping experience, I wanted to offer up some of my favorite tips!

// know what you need //

Back to school (or back to college) is a great time to clean out your closet and take inventory of what you have and what you need. Maybe your jeans from last year got worn to death or that perfect white tee has a massive coffee stain. Pass on or toss out those items and go pick out new ones. This year I knew I really needed a new pair of jeans, and I ended up finding the most amazing jeans for my body type.

// wear neutral undergarments that fit //

This is probably the most important shopping tip in my opinion. Making sure everything is neutral underneath is the best way to be able to focus on the new items you're trying on. Also, if your undergarments are too tight and emphasizing certain areas, it won't help you see the true fit of an item. Making sure all the under things are neutral and fit right will make a world of difference when trying on clothes.

// wait a while after eating //

I was going to say eat light if you're doing a marathon shopping day and need to break for food at some point, but no, eat whatever the heck you want! Just wait a little bit to try on clothes after you eat. Work off the food baby by trying on shoes or finding your new school bag. The jeans that are just a smidgen too tight with a food baby might fit perfectly otherwise. You don't want to not get something you love or buy the wrong size so just take a little time then go back to finding the perfect pair of skinny jeans.

// don't get hung up on a number //

People say this a lot when talking about the number on the scale, but it's equally true on a pair of jeans. I have clothes that range from size 2 to size 8. That's a huge range! At every single store clothes will fit differently. It's good to know what size you wear at your favorite store, but don't be upset if that same size is too tight somewhere else. It's just a number. All that matters is that you're comfortable and you are happy in clothes that fit you.

// don't get something just because it's trendy //

Sure if you love the cold shoulder top and see yourself wearing it a bunch, then go ahead and get it. But don't decide that you should get trendy pieces just because it's what you've seen it all over Pinterest. Save your money to buy pieces you're comfortable in and want to wear constantly. Your style is completely yours so find pieces that suit you, not trends.

// take advantage of sales //

This one is sort of a "duh!" tip, but this time of year there are so many sales. My inbox gets at least 15 new emails everyday of stores having different sales. Pay attention to when your favorite places are having sales and take advantage of your state's tax free weekend if it has one! No need to break the bank back to school shopping!

// use the buddy system //

I think the best way to shop is with someone else. Whether it's your mom or best friend, having someone with you who will be honest when that dress really isn't flattering for your body type or will encourage you to try something outside of your comfort zone. Personally, when I shop alone I have a tendency to be a lot more critical on myself and my body. We can be our own worst critic and it helps to have someone who can assure you when something looks great on you.

Wishing you happy shopping and a fabulous back to school season!

A Letter to My Freshman Self

Dear 18 year old Ashley,

Right now, you've just turned 18, you're spending your summer babysitting, and you're counting down the days until you leave for college. You are going to be moving across the country to a place where you don't know anyone. It will be exciting. It will be scary. It will get pretty lonely. But you'll come out the other side a whole lot stronger. Looking back two years from now, you won't be able to believe how much has changed and happened in your first half of college. The experiences and mistakes over the first two years of college will shape you, but there are some things I wish you would know now, instead of realizing two years from now.

Your dorm will not look like Pinterest. All the furniture is dark brown and you and your roommate didn't try to match exactly. All your Pinterest dreams will not come true with your freshman dorm, and that is okay! Your dorm room may not look like you imagined, but it will turn out to be a great place to spend your freshman year. 

However, you need to get your butt out of it more. The first few months will be really hard and you won't ever want to go to events or activities alone (you're still working on this in two years), but you cannot sit around just waiting on someone to ask you to do something. Be more proactive if you want to hang out with a friend instead of spending too much time alone.

When it comes to sororities and going through recruitment, still go through. You won't regret it. But don't say you have an open mind when you really are hoping to follow your mom's legacy. You will just end up hurt and disappointed. Trust me when I say you will be glad you didn't end up there. They are not your people, even if you don't know that now. 

As for the sorority you do join, remember that the organizations you are in do not define you. You define them. When boys at fraternity parties say things like "how are you one of them? You're not fat or weird," say something sassy back and walk away. They know nothing about you or your sisters, so they have no right to say anything so rude to you. And you definitely shouldn't let them get away with it. You and your sisters are strong, independent, fierce, and brilliant. It only hurts you to worry about what other people think of you because of what sorority you are in. Instead of wasting so much time and energy on that, use that time to build relationships with these women, you will wish you had started to really get to know them sooner.

Speaking of being confident in your sorority, be confident in yourself. You're still working on this one too. But there is no reason you should be afraid to raise your hand in class when you know the answer. There's no reason to be afraid of anything really. Speak up in class, talk to the girl who sits next to you everyday, go to a club meeting even when you don't know a single soul. Just please don't let your fear keep you cooped up in your dorm room. And don't try to boost your confidence by seeking gratification in others. It may be nice to hear someone tell you're pretty, but it is fleeting. Work on being confident in yourself and finding that confidence in something greater than you, instead of empty words.

You need to get out and make friends. Whether it's hanging out in the Mauldin kitchen or the girl down the hall's room or whatever else, there is no such thing as having too many friends. Just keep in mind that while some friendships start quickly and easily, they take a lot of work to maintain. You have to put effort into those friendships if you want them to last. But on the flip side, don't be so determined to maintain a friendship if it isn't a good one. Some friends will be there forever, some aren't meant to stay more than a few weeks. You will get better at realizing this.

Talk to people. Talk to everyone. Make friends with lab partners and hallmates. Start conversations with the 15 other girls all waiting for the bathroom at the party (if nothing else it will be entertaining). Talk to the boy who sits next to you in the bed of the pickup truck on the way to your first fraternity function, he'll turn out to be someone very special, it'll just take you a few months to find that out.

Call family often. You'll be pretty good about talking to your parents, but please call your grandparents more. They're not here forever and you will always wish you had more time to talk to them.

Keep in touch with your friends from home. Two years later and those two quirky friends of yours are still the best friends you've ever had. But don't be jealous of them making new friends and finding best friends at school, after all you should be doing that too.

Lastly, there will be times where you are not okay, and that is perfectly alright. Nothing is going to be perfect 100% of the time (heck it won't even be perfect 10% of the time), but everything happens the way it needs to. You cannot control everything. You don't need to control everything. Try not to be so anxious, I know that will be hard, it's still hard now. Don't let other people rob you of happiness just because they let you down. There are so many other people who will be there for you unconditionally, you just need to look around a little more to find them.

There is so much more I could say, but I have rambled and made barely any sense for long enough. Just know that at 20 you still don't have it all figured out, everything is not perfect, your college experience is not how you imagined it, but it is everything you need it to be. You still love Clemson, you have some pretty great friends at home and at school, you have an awesome, supportive family, and a wonderful boyfriend. You have started sharing your thoughts and feelings on the Internet and it has opened you up in tons of new ways. You are still learning and still growing, and I hope that doesn't ever change.

Have a great freshman year!

21 by 21

Hey y'all!

 I am super excited today because today I turn 20! Birthdays are always fun and exciting, but aside from no longer being a teenager (thank God those years are over!) 20 doesn't come with much exciting. It starts the countdown to 21, 365 days, but who's counting ;).

I want to countdown to 21 in a productive way, so that is what inspired today's post. A lot of bloggers have 101 in 1001 lists, inspired by Mackenzie Horan, but the next three years of my life are going to bring lots of changes - finishing college, getting a real job, who knows what else - so I want to do something a little bit more manageable and have a list of 21 things I want to accomplish by the time I turn 21 next summer.

1. Visit at least 2 new places in South Carolina.

2. Visit at least 1 new place outside of South Carolina.

3. Establish productive and effective morning and night routines at school.

4. Go to bed by 11pm every night for a week.

5. Workout consistently for at least a month.

6. Go on 3(+) hikes in the Clemson area.

7. Join and be actively involved in two new organizations.

8. Work on establishing a solid group of friends.

9. Call my parents at least once per week.

10. Find a church at school I really love and attend consistently.

11. Maintain a consistent blogging schedule.

12. Hit at least 15,000 total page views on the blog.

13. Continue to interact with other bloggers and meet one or two in real life.

14. Decide if I want to go to grad school after college and where I'll apply.

15. Take a class outside of my major just because I am interested in the subject matter.

16. Read 5 new books just for fun.

17. Eat 3 real meals everyday for a month.

18. Learn how to cook 5 good (maybe even healthy) dinner recipes.

19. Practicing paying it forward by paying for someone else's coffee anonymously.

20. Send 10 hand written notes to people just because.

21. Try something completely out of my comfort zone.

So that is my 21 by 21 list!

I will be adding this in a page on my blog and regularly update it with my progress. I am so excited for this new year and new decade (!!!) of my life and really hope to challenge myself with this list.

Cheers To The Teen Years

Hello friends! I have four days left as a teenager (what?!!?!). It's crazy to think about how much I have changed and grown since I turned 13 in 2009 (geez that makes me seem old). To celebrate leaving my teen years behind, I wanted to reflect on the many life lessons I learned throughout being a teenager. So here is some of the wisdom (ha!) I gained during my teen years!

- If you're not happy where you are (school, friend group, etc) you can leave, and it's usually better if you do.

- Even when it doesn't seem like it, things have a way of working out for the best.

- Being the new person is hard, but it will force you to grow.

- The friends who stick around when life changes will surprise you.

- Being part of the "popular" group means nothing if the people aren't true friends.

- In small environments (schools, communities, etc) everyone will know everything about everyone else. There is no way to avoid that.

- Just because people are wealthier or have nicer things than you does not mean they are better than you.

- Sometimes you'll be a better friend to someone than they are to you, and it won't be easy.

- Secrets should always be kept. 

- Always stand up for yourself, even when you're nervous or scared.

- Wearing uniforms for high school is actually really nice.

- Speak out when you don't agree with something or someone.

- High school boys are not worth crying over.

- Being a leader is tricky and you only make things harder if you never ask for help.

- You will never be able to control anyone, stop trying.

- Sometimes the only way to start feeling better is to sob to your mom on the way home.

- Never, ever be mean to your mom. She is always going to be your biggest cheerleader.

- Be grateful for your parents and tell them thank you often.

- What people think of you in high school (or in any season of life) does not define you.

- Listen to your gut instinct. Those feelings tend to be right.

-  You are not dumber than your classmates because you decided to go to a southern state school instead of a liberal arts college in the northeast.

- Some people aren't meant to stay in your life forever.

- Thank your high school teachers - you owe them a lot.

- Don't be afraid to raise your hand in class when you know the answer.

- You didn't "just get lucky" or "guess well" when you do well in class. Own it.

- Just because you can get away with procrastinating doesn't mean you should.

- Sometimes all you need is a night completely by yourself.

- Other times you need to get your butt up and out of your dorm and meet people.

- Fraternity parties are never as fun as they seem on Greek. Go to a few anyway.

- Organizations you are in don't define you, you define them.

- Prove people wrong.

- If your roommate is going to walk across campus late at night, go with her. You might just run into someone who will change your life.

- Take hard classes, join an organization where you don't know anyone, challenge yourself. It's always worth it.

- Time management is everything.

- The world is a very small place. You will find out you have craziest connections to people.

- Be kind to everyone, always.

- You don't have to be part of one specific friend group all the time.

- In fact, it's better if you can bounce around and hang out with all sorts of people. 

- Distance yourself from people who drag you down or make you feel bad about yourself.

- Never be okay with someone being rude to another person.

- Hanging out with a bunch of boys can be the best mental break ever.

- If there is something you want to do or something you want to start, go for it.

- You never have to be anything other than your authentic self.

- Life is short, eat another cookie.

- Appreciate every single time you get to see your grandparents. Unfortunately they won't be here forever.

- Words are powerful, use them carefully.

- 9 times out of 10, it's not worth worrying about, but you'll worry anyway.

- Wear bright lipstick (or anything for that matter) if it makes you happy.

- You can always go back home. 

I could probably think of a million more things to include on this list, but I need to stop somewhere. I hope you enjoyed this list of things I have learned over the past seven years. A lot of these things I continue to learn and work on, life is funny that way. 

What are some of the major life lessons you learned as a teenager? I would love to hear!